Raw 9-26-11

Matches:

1. 10-man Battle Royal for Cody Rhodes' Intercontinental Championship - 3 out of 5. Cody tried to pull a Flair/Lawler/Edge and roll out of the ring at the beginning of this bout, but forgot to hide under the ring. Ted DiBiase wasted no time throwing him back in, but in the end, Rhodes retained his title.

2. Divas of Doom v. Kelly Kelly & Eve - 2 out of 5. Christ, Kelly can't even take a Glam Slam properly. Somebody take that title and put it out of its misery.

3. Mark Henry v. The Great Khali - N/A. There was supposed to be a match here, but Mark Henry was obviously wondering why he should delay the inevitable and just went ahead and clocked Khali with the title before the match could begin.

4. John Cena v. Christian - 3 out of 5. Punk on commentary was really the best part of this match. Although it was slightly amusing to see Christian and Cena in the ring together, given last Friday's revelation about their gimmicks. I have to admit, Christian cockily asking if the match was for the title and then immediately throwing a tantrum when it wasn't actually did make me giggle.

5. Dolph Ziggler v. Zack Ryder - 3 out of 5. Woo woo woo, you know it! A title shot for the internet champion? We all pretty much knew it wouldn't happen this time around, but it seems Ryder is indeed finally getting over.

6. Air Boom & Zack Ryder v. Dolph Ziggler, Jack Swagger, and Mason Ryan - 4 out of 5. Teddy long came out after the US title match devolved into chaos to make this match, telling Vickie to find a partner for her clients. She came out with seemingly the perfect guy... who immediately turned around and socked Swagger! Vickie did her best Rita Repulsa impression, and then she and her goons sulked out of the arena.

7. CM Punk v. Alberto Del Rio - 4 out of 5. I have to give this a 4, just because ADR showed everyone he is not screwing around come Sunday.

So, Hell in a Cell. We already know we have a triple-threat match for the WWE championship. We already know Mark Henry will defend the Heavyweight Championship against Randy Orton. Sheamus is gonna Brogue Kick Christian to Hell. Oh, and there's the Butterfly Joke Belt (as Mehe so eloquently put it). Perhaps third time's the charm? Wouldn't it be great if Beth redesigned that stupid thing?

The biggest story of the night, was, of course, the mutiny of heels rising up against Triple H. The man hasn't had an in-ring segment that was uninterrupted since taking over the company from Vince. First he had to contend with Dolph Ziggler complaining about Wolverine fracturing his jaw. Then Cody came out and complained that Randy Orton caused him to need nine staples in his head. And just because it's like some kind of requirement, Christian came out to complain that he didn't win the World Title. Again. Trips put them all in matches, of course, and later on in the night David Otunga (who we recently discovered has a Harvard Law degree) spoke first to John Laurinaitis (who ended the conversation by texting someone), and then to the heels from the opening segment. I think this is not where we were all expecting this angle to go, but I think I might like this even better. We've all seen stable v. stable 100 times. But has the roster been re-integrated, only to divide itself into factions? This is the kind of storyline that could, and probably will, hit the entire roster. The possibilities are endless, and it's the kind of thing that could very well reform the landscape of the company. Let's just hope that reform is for the better.

Smackdown 9-23-11

Quite a lot of matches this week! Let's get to it:

1. Sheamus v. Heath Slater - 4 out of 5. The Battle of the Gingers! Heath Slater did good work here, but of course ultimately fell victim to the Brogue Kick.

2. Wade Barrett v. Justin Gabriel - 3 out of 5. Barrett absolutely dominated this one, but before he hit the wasteland Gabriel managed to show him a few maneuvers of his own.

3. Divas of Doom v. A.J. & Kaitlyn - 3 out of 5. It's no secret by now that I'd still like more out of my Divas, but at least A.J. has the fever, and that is clear every time she's in the ring. More of her, please, WWE!

4. Cody Rhodes v. Randy Orton - 4 out of 5. The 4 here comes more from the aftermath than the match itself. I understand in some markets, the beatdown was cut short, and some people had to get on the internet to find out that Randy busted open Cody's head with that bell.

5. The Great Khali v. Jinder Majal - 2 out of 5. I gotta admit, I don't remember this match, which is why I give it a 2. This rivalry doesn't really interest me at the moment. Moving on.

6. Sin Cara v. Daniel Bryan - 3 out of 5. Meh.

7. Air Boom v. the Usos - 3 out of 5. I'm sure this was a great match, but every time I try to watch it, I'm just distracted by the commentary. Josh and Cole decided this would be a good time to try on ALL of Booker's catchphrases. All at once.

8. Mark Henry v. Christian - 4 out of 5. This match was made at the top of the show, and Christian spent all night making friends with the lumberjacks in an attempt to gain the upper hand on Mark Henry. It didn't work, but it was still entertaining.

I'm beginning to wonder how much longer they're going to milk this "one more match" gimmick. My deepest apologies, fans, but I am having trouble finding it entertaining anymore. The boy pointed out that Christian basically has Cena's gimmick, but with a heel twist. Maybe that's the problem, and maybe it isn't. At any rate, I feel like I might get to a point in the near future where the sound of Christian's music is just going to make me groan, instead of cheer. Not there yet, but we'll see.

On brighter notes, let's have some kudos for young talent getting some ring time. In particular, I want to talk about Justin Gabriel and Heath Slater. These two guys used to flank Wade Barrett, who was clearly ready to soar on his own even then. Gabriel and Slater seemed like afterthoughts next to that guy. Now that they're getting their own ring time we can really see where each of their talent lies. Gabriel is a no-brainer: the guy is a high-flyer, and a good one, too. His match this week with Barrett was a good chance to stand toe-to-toe with a heavy hitter and prove that he can take the damage.

Slater, I feel, is the literal red-headed stepchild of the group. I don't see a lot of love for him coming from the community, and I think that people are missing the fact that he's being paired up with some big hitters too. Sure, he would have lost that match against Khali if it wasn't for the interruption, but he stood his ground, and this week, he kept up with Sheamus, till the Celtic Warrior got tired of screwing around. What we're all missing here--and what's going to sneak up on everybody on that roster--is that Heath is the Speedster. He might not have the size advantage, but you'd better not take your eyes off of him for a second. He's quick, and he can exploit those weak moments to bring you down, even if you don't stay there. Enough of those spots, and he may have a midcard title run in his future. He's also one of the only guys on the roster that still has long hair, and he knows how to work it. And to top it off, he's got a great Edge-flop.

Impact 9-22-11

Happy Fall Equinox everyone!! Before I begin this review, I have to give credit to the best boyfriend ever, who finished my notes for me last night after I fell asleep (I wasn't feeling all that well, and I TRIED to stay up, but my eyes wouldn't hear of it). Having made that disclaimer, to the matches!!

1. Miss Tessmacher v. Mickie James - 2 out of 5. After another episode of Karen Jarret is a Bitch (I literally write that every time she's on screen), Mickie James surprised no one with this victory. This was also much shorter and much more lacking in physicality than a standard Knockouts match.

2. Austin Aries v. Jesse Sorensen - 4 out of 5. Pretty much everything an X-Division title match should be. Great heel work from Aries, great use of the football by everyone involved, and awesome spots galore.

3. Bully Ray & Jerry Lynn v. Mr. Anderson - 3 out of 5. This was supposed to have been a tag match, except RVD was taken out off-camera. For a 2-on-1, though it worked, and the heels worked their magic to make sure they came out on top.

4. Christopher Daniels v. Bobby Roode - N/A. The match didn't happen, as Daniels refused to fight his friend. Didn't stop A.J. Styles from coming down and fighting Daniels himself.

5. Kurt Angle v. James Storm - 4 out of 5. This is a rating coming from the boy. Apparently, Storm is *checks notes* "that damn good."

So, Bound For Glory updates. Only one that I can see here, and that's Mickie James advancing to her spot in the Knockout's match. Anyone who didn't see that coming is living in some pretty deep denial. It's okay, though. You can come out from under that rock. I promise we won't bite.. hard... Next up it will be Tara v. Madison Rayne. Three guesses how that will turn out. Did I mention that the first two don't count?

So Sting is still trying to go up against Hogan. I understand this is the way you settle things in the world of professional wrestling, but really, why? At least Hogan looks better physically speaking than Ric Flair does. Just when I think my days of yelling, "PUT ON A SHIRT!" at the TV are over, I am proven wrong yet again. Hogan seems extremely against the idea of getting in the ring with Sting, and who can blame him? I have a theory that at this point those bandanas he wears are like Gallagher's hats... those extensions are fastened to them, and if it were to come off in the middle of, say, a powerbomb, the spell would be broken, and even the markiest of marks would be able to see just how far from grace he has actually fallen. At midnight, Hogan turns into a pumpkin.

One more note about Hogan before I move on, and I know that I'll probably catch some heat for saying this, but it needs to be said: Hulkamania is dead. The poison that first infected it in 1996 slowly worked its way through to the heart of the craze, and these days all that is left is a hollow shell. Internet historians have documented its run well, on sites like Wikipedia, and YouTube. But honestly? The name Hulk Hogan has lost the hype it once had, and is likely never to crawl out of that grave.

Jeff continues to look for atonement among the roster, and last night was a good step in the right direction. It certainly helped that the first person he talked to was Al Snow (hi mom!), who had some sage advice for him: start at the top. So that's what he did. In his search for Kurt Angle, he ran into Matt Morgan, who apparently feels Jeff deserves one more chance to make it right with the company he totally screwed over. When he did find Kurt, however, the World Champ basically told him to GTFO, and Jeff was finally offended by someone's opinion of him. After two weeks of taking what has been dished to him quietly, he finally stood up to the biggest nay-sayer he's come across yet. What are Bischoff and Hogan going to say? That he's only there cause the Network wants him there? Ninja, please.

Raw 9-19-11

The matches:

1. Air Boom, Sheamus, and Justin Gabriel v. Christian, Wade Barret, David Otunga & Mike McGillicutty - 3 out of 5. It was a solid match, but I had to go back and re-watch it just to give it a rating. Sheamus is undoubtedly a force to be reckoned with, but this match was kind of forgettable.

2. Alberto Del Rio v. John Morrison - 2 out of 5. I've been a mark for Morrison since he was Johnny Nitro. It's sad to see him reduced to jobbing in a squash against Del Rio.

3. Sin Cara v. Cody Rhodes - N/A. No match happened here. Before it could, NOFACE 1.0 interrupted and the two Caras ended up trading a few blows. This story needs a better build.

4. Kelly Kelly & Eve v. Beth Phoenix & Natalya - 1 out of 5. The Divas of Doom story is officially buried, and I officially have no more interest in the Divas. Pee Break, indeed.

5. Zack Ryder v. Dolph Ziggler - 3 out of 5. He may have had just a LITTLE help from Wolverine, but the Internet Champion threw the Rough Ryder on Ziggler for the win. Woo woo woo--you know it, bro!

6. John Cena & CM Punk v. The Awesome Truth - 4 out of 5. The angry conspiracy theorists had to keep their heads together during this match after dismantling two officials and the COO himself the night before. Great mash-up of talent here, and yes, I even mean Cena.

Only two weeks to build the next pay-per-view??? Are they insane??? *looks at the men on top* Oh, wait. Nevermind. Anyway, the WWE championship match has already been set up. Impressed, and with new respect for Punk, Triple H granted him the title rematch he never got, albeit at the same time as Del Rio's title rematch. Both of them will be trying to win the WWE Championship back from John Cena inside Hell in a Cell, and dear Gods, I hope one of them succeeds.

I have to mention Zack Ryder here once again. Even though it wasn't a title match, he still was put in the ring last night against the United States Champion and won. He's still not getting that much screen time, but he's clearly a fan favorite (the crowd already knew where the promo between Ziggler and Hugh Jackman was going and DEMANDED him), and every time he is in the ring, it seems to be against bigger and badder performers. There are two different directions I am thinking here, and maybe they're both wishful thinking, but whatever. First: with Swagger joining Vickie's stable, he and Ziggler attempt to put their differences aside (albeit REALLY awkwardly) and Dolph begins a new rivalry with Ryder. Or alternately, the addition of Swagger only fuels Ziggler's jealousy, till they completely break down and have to settle their differences in a pay-per-view match, and as a result, Vickie drops them both, turns face, and picks up Zack Ryder. As long as we get more Zack, I'm really happy with any screen time he has.

This paragraph would contain all kinds of hypotheses and comments about the Punk/Triple H/Johnny Ace/Nash/Awesome Truth Conspiracy angle, but as most of you are likely coming from forums and message boards that have already formed plenty of great ideas, there's not much I can add to this. I agree that Ace will likely form an "Outsiders" group consisting of Nash and Awesome Truth, and fight for control against Triple H and likely CM Punk. Ideas for the rest of Trips' stable are all over the place. Cena seems obvious (which also makes Del Rio seem like an obvious recruit for the Future Endeavors as we're calling them in our house). Air Boom are/were already feuding with Awesome Truth. There are plenty of possibilities there, and I'm actually pretty excited for any of them. It's been a good long time since we've had a stable v. stable rivalry in the WWE, and I am looking forward to what this story might bring.

Just as long as they don't somehow throw the Divas into it.

Night of Champions (Ali's Take)

7 matches, all titles on the line (except the internet championship... shame.), and the main event is the grudge match. Anyway, let's get started.

1. The Awesome Truth v. Air Boom (Tag Team Championship): 4 out of 5. New matching gear for the champions, and a prominent showing by Conspiracy, which caused several bad tag calls from the ref, and eventually led to a DQ win by the champions. Miz and R-Truth set up the next leg of their story beautifully here. But we'll get to that.

2. Cody Rhodes v. Ted DiBiase (Intercontinental Championship): 4 out of 5. Solid performance. The champion showed us why he's the champ, but DiBiase showed some determination and made a case for himself as the contender. He's got to calm it down, however. Too caught up in the moment after ripping Cody's mask off, Ted opened himself up to a quick roll-up and a loss. The announcers tried their best to make it sound like Rhodes cheated to get it. Perhaps they all need new glasses.

3. Jack Swagger v. John Morrison v. Alex Riley v. Dolph Ziggler (US Championship): 3 out of 5. The inclusion of Riley and Morrison to this match is a bit mystifying here, since the storyline revolves entirely around Swagger and Ziggler, with Vickie as a fulcrum to that seesaw. This was the first match I called incorrectly. I expected a no-pin loss for Ziggler (probably by Swagger), but the champion managed to stop fighting with his manager long enough to take out the competition. Morrison and Riley were arguably there only to give the feeling when Dolph Ziggler won, that he undoubtedly deserves to be a champion. Around here, we already knew that.

4. Mark Henry v. Randy Orton (World Heavyweight Championship): 4 out of 5. Got to admit, I expected this to be more or less a squash, or at least as much of a squash as you might expect from a top-card championship at a pay-per-view. This match was the one I was least looking forward to, because I really wasn't sure how these guys were going to carry each other. And how was Randy ever going to hope to beat the World's Strongest Monster? When Orton jumped up on Henry's back to attempt the sleeper hold, however, I was finally sold on the match and found myself actually enjoying it. I was still not surprised when the title changed hands, and Mark Henry was immediately interviewed as the new champion.

5. Beth Phoenix v. Kelly Kelly (Divas Championship): 2 out of 5. This match only got a 2 because it lasted longer than 5 minutes, and Kelly only got one or two of her five moves of doom in. I don't remember because I'm already trying to block it out of my memory. Kelly retained her championship despite the fact that she had no business doing so. Don't forget, kids. Home town advantage doesn't necessarily mean anything in this business.

6. John Cena v. Alberto Del Rio (WWE Championship): 4 out of 5. I always enjoy seeing Del Rio in action, and one of the things I like about his gimmick is that he doesn't necessarily need to cheat. During the match, I commented that if anybody in the WWE can beat Cena clean, it's this guy. I even went a step further and said that if he did, I'd give the match a 5. As you can tell by my rating my dream did not come true. As a matter of fact, I may have jinxed it as I was making that statement as John Cena was putting the messiest STF on Del Rio I've ever seen. Still, up until then, this was well-done, and probably looked even better following the Divas debacle.

7. Cm Punk v. HHH (Grudge Match; No DQ, if HHH loses he resigns as COO): 4 out of 5. This was the closest I've come yet to giving a match a 5. I almost hate NOT giving it a 5. But the match told a glorious story. The two competitors took to each other street-fight style right away, beating the crap out of each other from one side of the arena to the other, and back into the ring again. And that's when the shenanigans started. Remember how Miz & R-Truth set up the next leg of their story beautifully? Well this was it. They took down both competitors, and tried to give Punk the win to oust Trips from power, but when that didn't work, they broke down in anger, and took out the ref. Laurinaitis showed up with his trusty cell phone waving out a new official. Instead of having him jump in the ring and count the victory for Triple H, his concern was instead on the unconscious ref outside the ring. Punk of course got up and went for his own cover, and that's the moment Johnny decided to let the new ref in the ring. When the COO kicked out, however, he immediately went back to his cell phone, and before you knew it, Nash was coming down ringside (this is the reason for the 4, by the way. Nash's inclusion into the storyline made it mucky to begin with, and I was really hoping naively that he was really gone). He got a sledgehammer to the face for his troubles, and when all was said and done, Triple H came out on top.

WWE Night Of Champions 2011

Wasn't Night of Champions in June last year?

I dug Night of Champions.  I think it was a damned fine pay per view.  Here's my reasons why:

The Awesome Truth vs Air Boom.  At first I was a little outraged that Miz and Truth were curtain-jerking, but the more I considered it as the match went on, it really parlays into their conspiracy theory.  If Miz were the one typing this, he'd be sure to point out to everyone here that he was a headliner at this year's Mania.  If R-Truth were the one typing this, he'd tell you that the Little Jimmies were the ones keeping him down.  The referee Rod Zapata (whom I didn't recognize, had to go to WWE.com to find out his name) was horribly out of place during the entire match, missed several tags between Miz and Truth but somehow caught every one of Air Boom's- including one that didn't even happen!  The ref also missed a clear pin by the Miz on Bourne under the guise of arguing with Truth.  Sadly, that was all Miz could handle and he pushed the ref to the ground, causing a disqualification. I hate agreeing with Michael Cole on anything, but I agree with him on this count: that particular ref needed to perform better.  After the match, Miz and Truth both went ballistic, beating on poor Rod and yelling at anything that moved.

Cody Rhodes vs Ted Dibiase: This was a great match to me.  Cody came off looking better, as per usual, but my favorite part? Cody hiding his face with his hand after he won.  By now it's obvious that the 'disfigurement' of Cody's face is psychosomatic, and I'm okay with that.  Cody has transformed from a simply annoying gimmick into one of the most truly evil characters on the blue side of the team.  Also, this is directed to you, Jerry Lawler: Cody DID NOT have a "handful of tights".

Christian coming out and trying to get a "one more match" chant? Awesome.  Sheamus coming out to help then Brogue Kicking Christian's face off? Priceless.  It also makes me want Sheamus to have his own interview segment in the vein of The Highlight Reel or The Cutting Edge.

Morrison v Riley v Dolph v Swagger:  I have very little to say about this.  It did help push forward the Swagger v Doph angle, and I liked that, but Morrison and Riley didn't really fit into this match, nor did the crowd seem to be that into it.

Mark Henry vs Randy Orton:  Holy Crap.  I didn't think he could pull this out.  I didn't think Randy Orton would lose this match.  I was expecting RKO's to go flying from everywhere.  They surprised me with this one.  They really did give Mark Henry exactly what he's deserved in recent weeks.  He has proven himself.  He earned this title.  Good for Mark Henry.  Good for changes of pace.  May you reign well, new Champion.  May you reign well.

Buttlerfly Joke Belt Match, also known as Kelly Kelly vs Beth Phoenix:  I have nothing to say about this.  Next match.

JERRRRN CEEENER vs ADR: I liked this match.  I like everything from CENER stealing ADR's car to the match itself to the throwing out of Ricardo to the GIANT CENA HEAD in the crowd and the GIANT ADR HEAD to accompany it.  I did not like this finish, however.  Cener doesn't need that damned belt anymore than I need an extra foot growing out of my back.  I also didn't like his interaction with the crowd afterward.  Not cool, Cena, not cool.  (As a sidenote, fans, keep up that let's go Cena/Cena sucks chant.  It never fails to amuse me.)

Mr. Haiches vs CM Punk:  This match.  THIS MATCH.  It is an example of both good booking and bad booking.  The match was fanfreakingtastic.  CM Punk and Mr. Haiches took everything they had and left it there in that ring.  It legitimately looked like they wanted to kill each other.  Then, out of no where, our curtain jerkers ran in and started destroying Scott Armstrong and HHH and CM Punk.  At some point, the Executive Vice President of Talent Relations, Emperor Palpatine came out and got everything going again.  And then sent a text.  And then the now fired Kevin Nash came out. And attacked Trips and CM Punk. And then left. No, he attempted to leave.  But he was stopped by the Sledgening: Sledgie Strikes Back.  Then Hunter won. Or something.  I got confused.

I'm gonna go ahead and give NOC a 7 out of 10.

Now, let's start the build to Hell in a Cell- in just two weeks! (groan)

The Odd Couples of Wrestling

I mentioned this on a forum recently, but one of the things that kept me on as a fan of wrestling in the early days were the tag teams. In the late 90s, there were plenty of talented teams to choose from, whether you liked the Brood, the Hardy Boyz, the Dudleys, or even the New Age Outlaws. Being the silly girl that I am, though, my favorites have always been the odd couples. Two singles competitors are thrown together, seemingly randomly, and awesomeness ensues. Here are my three favorites, and what makes them work as a team.

1. The Rock and Sock Connection

The Rock was already a pillar for the WWE at the time, and being harassed by the Tag Team Champions, the Undertaker and Big Show. Mick Foley was still going by the name Mankind, although he was now a face, and instead of just using his mandible claw on the opposition, instead preferred to first cover his claw hand with a sock, produced from his tights. When the Rock challenged the champs to a match, he did not at the time have a partner, and Foley stood up to the challenge, helping the People's Champion to become one-half of the Tag Team Champions.

Why it worked: The Rock and Mankind played off of each other's personalities well, and that made their time together out of the ring that much more entertaining. It would have been easy at the time to discount this version of Makind as a strange little man, but when it came to business, the Rock seemed to know that he could count on him to help throw down some of the biggest wrestlers ever employed by Vince McMahon. Over time, he seemed to even be less disgusted by "Socko" and more entertained that his foes were being defeated with a dirty sock straight out of his partner's crotch. It was even Foley who came up with the name "Rock and Sock Connection", and the People approved of it.

2. Booker T and Goldust (BookDust)

In 2002, Goldust began to pursue a partnership with Booker T, but fell flat until Booker found himself in need of a new partner after suffering the jealously of Shawn Michaels. Seeming to have not much of a choice, he and Goldust became a fixture for the second half of that year.

Why they worked: If there ever was a true Odd Couple of wrestling, this was it. Booker warmed up to his new tag team partner, but was clearly disturbed by the Flamboyant One's antics during their promos. Goldust was always looked at by the rest of the roster as a freak, but having Booker T right beside him to react to him every week put a new kind of punctuation on the story, and his own reactions to Booker's sudden outbursts when he'd crossed a line played off nicely too, making it that much more entertaining.

3. The Miz and R-Truth (The Awesome Truth)

R-Truth seemingly hit a lucky break when John Morrison pissed off some people in the back and was in need of being punished. Previously thought by a lot of people I know to be a probable shoo-in for upcoming cuts, his heel turn and brutal assault of Morrison put him back on the radar. Now, instead of attempting to be the crowd-pleasing rapper, he started making his entrance to silence, and spoke often of conspiracy. The Miz was on a completely different story, having recently lost his WWE championship to John Cena and twice being unable to regain it. He interrupted a backstage segment where R-Truth was building up his conspiracy angle, and agreed that they had both been screwed out of their rightful positions as main event superstars.

Why it works: While everyone else in the company sees R-Truth as unhinged and deranged, the Miz sees him as the only guy making any sense. After all, they were both in the main event of pay-per-views not that long ago, and quickly fell from grace for seemingly no reason. They connect on that level, and to put it over the top, they now call each other's catch phrases, and even have a team pose. Just the way they walk together puts out a message to the WWE: Just try and stop us. And as if they needed anything else to enforce their strength as a team, R-Truth's "What's Up" theme has been given a guitar-heavy remix, and the Miz does backup vocals as they tell the audience "You Suck!" It's not the comedy-entertainment value of a face odd couple. It's different. And we should expect great things from this duo.

Smackdown 9-16-11

Matches:

1. Daniel Bryan v. Sin Cara - 4 out of 5. Bryan was absolutely ruthless, but Sin Cara returned the favor in spades. Booker T exhibited his knowledge of both the skeletal system and children's tunes.

2. Beth Phoenix v. A.J. - 2 out of 5. Served the purpose it was supposed to, but I don't generally find that much interest in squash matches. That, and I may have blinked.

3. Sheamus & Justin Gabriel v. Christian & Wade Barret - 3 out of 5. Strong, steady, and an interesting mashup of talent. I like that Gabriel is getting match time.

4. The Great Khali v. Heath Slater - 2 out of 5. I wouldn't go so far to call this a squash match. Heath held his own, at least long enough for Jinder Majal to interrupt.

5. R-Truth v. Evan Bourne - 4 out of 5. As though I needed more reason to be excited about the tag championship match on Sunday. Another victory for the challengers!

Huh. Impact got higher scores from me this week. Interesting.

There was only one championship left undefended going into the show last night, and that was Cody Rhodes' Intercontinental Championship. It was pretty much a given that he'd be facing Ted DiBiase, which may be why they left the story to be punctuated on the final show before Night of Champions. That punctuation, though, ended up being a whole string of exclamation points when DiBiase unleashed the fury that's been building for months onto Rhodes at the top of the show. Face turn: expected. Retaliation against former friend/mentor: expected. Brutality: not expected. Ted DiBiase exceeded expectations with his attack, and I hope he continues to do so with the match on Sunday.

FINALLY... no, it's not the Rock. (Although he is now confirmed for Survivor Series, and I am glad that wishy-washyness is over) It's the Sin Cara v. Sin Cara angle. I've been seeing some very mixed reactions around in regards to its reception. The Two Caras began their feud by circling each other in the ring and each generally indicated that he was the Real Sin Cara. Some people liked it for its simplicity. Others thought the announcers didn't do it justice. One thing most everyone seems to agree on is that Heel Cara should now get a new color scheme. This is a matter I would love to gather all manner of opinions on. My two favorite ideas so far are red/silver (to contrast the blue/gold Face Cara--is that redundant?) and inverted (Nega Cara). Any other ideas anyone would like to throw out there?

I would love to write something more about the Orton/Henry feud, but I'm not sure there's anything more to say there. They were both guest stars on The Cutting Edge last night, and after the segment was over, they once again tried to kill each other. It's certainly looking to be one brutal match.

TNA Impact 9-15-11

Matches:

1. Mexican America (all of them) v. Devon, Pope, Tara, and Tessmacher - 4 out of 5. This was a great idea, and I can't believe that no one in this household thought of it. Clearly The Clergy needed an equalizer for Rosita & Sarita. Nobody better to take on the challenge than the knockouts tag champs!

2. Angelina Love v. Velvet Skye - 3 out of 5. This was a Queens qualifying match to face Winter at Bound For Glory. No surprise that Velvet won (to leave Angelina open to interfere with all the opposition), but a solid match. With history.

3. Samoa Joe v. Matt Morgan - 3 out of 5. Why does this get a 3? It was submission rules, and Matt Morgan tapped out. That's right, Samoa Joe actually won a match. Everyone start drinking.

4. Kazarian v. Bobby Roode - 4 out of 5. Angle set this up, in an attempt to divide & conquer the brother love of Fortune. Entertaining from front to back, with lots of respect between the competitors.

5. Ric Flair v. Sting - 3 out of 5. Early in the match, I was prepared to give it a 2. And then Ric Flair showed he was still willing to take nasty bumps with Sting superplexed him. The man is insane, but also a legend. But also insane. Plus, it's Flair and Sting.

The biggest development for the Bound For Glory PPV next month was Karen Jarret announcing that 6 of the knockouts would be competing in 3 qualifying matches. Looks like the Knockouts title match will be a 4-way. First qualifier was, no surprise, Velvet Skye. We can probably expect Mickie James to qualify for the match also, despite Karen's insistence that her "game" with Winter is over. Not much else can be said about it at this point.

Another story that I guarantee will be developing in coming weeks is, of course, Jeff Hardy's atonement. He attempted to talk to a couple of guys in the back, and got told off twice in two very different manners. A.J. Styles basically told Jeff to go screw himself. Devon, on the other hand, who certainly knows Jeff a little better with all the history they have together in the business, made sure Jeff knew he screwed up so badly that any step out of line would be the end of the road for him. Once he was done lecturing, however, he also told Jeff he had his back should he need him. It's sometimes hard to watch as a fan when any performer, but especially a favorite, falls so far from favor. After Jeff hit rock bottom in the middle of a pay-per-view, I have to admit I was disgusted. But I was more disgusted with Hogan and Sting absolutely burying him the next week on Impact. It didn't sound like anyone in the roster had any words of kindness or concern for him, just "he made his bed, now he has to lie in it." Hearing Devon actually come across to Jeff as an old friend was extremely refreshing.

Eventually, I hope we'll get to see if Jeff still has what it takes in the ring--just, not as a heavyweight championship contender.

A Subject Unavoidable: Matt and Jeff Hardy

Over the past few months, the wrestling fandom has had a front row seat to the self destruction of two very talented stars. Matt and Jeff Hardy, together known as the Hardy Boyz, have long been fan favorites due to their high-flying styles and their flamboyant personalities. Together, they garnered six WWE Tag Team Championships, and Jeff was the eighteenth Triple Crown (WWE Championship, World Tag Team Championship, and Intercontinental Championship) winner.

I really don't know where to start. My disbelief at the current situation makes what I want to say hard to grasp. I'm not going to browbeat either man. We in the wrestling fan community don't really know the details. All we can do is look at the arrest reports and shake our heads. We've seen Jeff get arrested on charges of trafficking in controlled prescription pills and possession of anabolic steroids, after a search of his house yielded 262 Vicodin prescription pills, 180 soma prescription pills, 555 milliliters of anabolic steroids, a residual amount of powder cocaine, and drug paraphernalia. In the last week, we've seen him plead guilty to those charges and get a grand total of ten days in jail. We've seen him try to work a main event match on a payperview intoxicated and in no condition to compete. Now he seems to have cleaned himself up, and we all commend him for that.

Matt... where do we start with Matt? His tailspin has been quick, it seems. He was released from the WWE in late 2010, and almost immediately snapped up by rival promotion TNA (where his brother Jeff was working). He was visibly out of shape and tried very hard to succeed but it seemed that the promotion had no place for him. While serving a suspension for posting a youtube video where he shot his girlfriend with a taser, he was charged with a DWI on August 20th. He was immediately dismissed from the company (while his brother was still on the TNA payroll despite the laundry list of charges above). Soon after, a fake suicide note- that has since been taken down- appeared on youtube, posted by Matt. Matt claimed it wasn't what it appeared to be, that it was actually a rebirth video. He also announced his retirement from active competition. Then, just two days ago as of this writing, he was arrested again on another DWI charge.

Matt, if I could speak to you, I would tell you that no one wants to see you fall. No one wants to wake up one morning and have to add you to the list of wrestlers who have left us too soon. You are too talented, too wonderful, and too blessed to allow yourself to be spiraling in this manner. You are loved, by your family and your friends. You are adored by your fans. You are needed to coach a new generation of stars into the future. Don't allow yourself to hit rock bottom and not bounce back. You don't deserve it.

Wrestling gets a bad rap a lot, because of the death toll it seems to take on it's stars. Please, please, don't add yourselves to that list, Matt and Jeff. We all need you.

Raw 9-12-11

I had finished this entry, and then Blogger went psycho on me, so forgive the lateness.

The Matches:

1. John Morrison & Alex Riley v. Dolph Ziggler & Jack Swagger - 2 out of 5. This was just the wrong combination of talent altogether. Swagger face turn cannot happen soon enough!

2. The Miz v. Koji Kingston - 3 out of 5. This was a good way to build up both tag teams going into Night of Champions. I expect to see Truth v. Bourne on Friday.

3. Jerry Lawler & Sheamus v. David Otunga & Michael McGillicutty - 2 out of 5. Even though it was Sheamus, this was still a rehash of last week, except this time McGillicutty referenced his pedigree. Anyone who still doesn't know he's Perfect's kid was probably totally lost.

4. John Cena & Bret Hart v. Alberto Del Rio & Ricardo Rodriguez - 2 out of 5. Yawn. Ricardo was pretty entertaining being all nervous. Bret still has respect from the fans.

5. Kelly Kelly v. Vickie Guerrero - 1 out of 5. This was absolutely pointless. We'd already seen Dolph & Swagger once, so there was no need to rehash this. And Kelly managed to look even LESS impressive, if that's possible.

6. Cody Rhodes v. Randy Orton - 4 out of 5. This was every bit as good as their first match. Even had a nice, solid ending.

With Night of Champions less than a week away, only one addition was made to the card on Monday. Dolph Ziggler will have to defend his title in a fatal 4-way against Jack Swagger, Alex Riley, and John Morrison. I really wish I could look forward to this match, but I can't. Mainly because Alex Riley is in it. Riley is one of those guys who, if I wasn't now writing this blog, I would see on my screen and immediately go find something else to do. As it is, I will have to grin and bear it. And may every God in creation help me if he actually manages to win. Honestly, though, gonna have to look for Ziggler to retain, or for Swagger to eek out a victory and add fuel to the fire.

Mark Henry has been dominating as a monster heel ever since the draft. Now he even has a cute nickname for his reign of destruction: The Hall of Pain. My expectation with him, honestly, is for him to destroy Orton on Sunday, and hang on to the title all the way through WrestleMania. Does this mean I'm excited about it? Heck no. I've never been much of a fan of Mark Henry's. He's big, yes. He looks intimidating... That's about it. The only other notable thing about him is his nickname of "The World's Strongest Man." A moniker her earned legitimately--9 years ago. The only other person to cling to an accolade longer is of course Olympic Gold Medalist Kurt Angle. But that's another company, and a whole other story.

Of course, the thing people would take home from this show was the showdown between CM Punk and Triple H. The segment started off slow as the two talked about the business. CM Punk played the part of the internet fans, who complain about seemingly constant booking for muscular men with no real talent, and none for real stars like Punk. Triple H played the part of WWE PR, who was quick to rattle off a list of champions and main eventers who didn't come close to fitting that description, and basically accused Punk of expecting a warm welcome on Day 1 and throwing a tantrum when he didn't get it (I believe this comment was what inspired Mehe's last post and I'm surprised she didn't mention it). Unfortunately, Trips began to talk himself into circles by continually repeating to Punk that he only needed to get over with the fans (who steadily chanted his name throughout). Luckily, just when we were about to bash our skulls in, the personal portion of the promo began, and just when things got heated up, Punk referred to both of their real names and his mic failed. Twice. The third time, instead of attempting to be heard again, he opted instead to use his Epic Mic Skills right on Triple H's head.

I'm still looking for Punk to start carrying a megaphone everywhere he goes, and I'm not sure why he hasn't been doing it since he came back.

Now Trending!

It's great to live in an age where everyone has a voice. Thanks to social media, we're given glimpses into everyone's lives- be the celebrity or mundane or even a feral pigeon on the loose. It's given us access like never before to our favorite wrestlers; the kind of access I'm sure people would have died for in the 70s and 80s.

That being said, I'm noticing a trend in the way some of our beloved stars are using their newfound freedom of expression, and i don't like it.

It seems that we fans of the Internet Wrestling Community mean less than our brethren without social media access. It seems to have become the cool thing to do to hate on us. The 10%ers. The fat Internet marks. The ones who just don't know our place.

We are the ones who grew up in the eighties and nineties. We are the one who were little Hulkamaniacs and Warriors and Stingers. We grew as the technology did.

It's hard to be a wrestling fan. We endure ridicule about our love. Sometimes we have to hide it. Sometimes we were bullied at school because we loved Hulk Hogan. Then- the Internet came. It gave us a place to gather and talk about our hidden love, the be able to say in all caps- I LOVE WRESTLING! I'm not alone! There are more like me out there!

Yet it seems now that many stars in the business think the best way to garner some heat is to take a shot at us. In recent months, guys like Gunner, Kurt Angle (who claims he was hacked), Eric Bischoff, and even the mighty Hulkster himself have all taken potshots at us. Of course, they're always quick to backpedal and say that they didn't mean what thy said afterward and maybe we just took it wrong, but we know that they meant every word they typed.

So, from one so called 10%er, one fat Internet mark to any of you wrestlers out there in social media land- please remember, we in the IWC can embrace you and help you soar to heights that you could never imagine. Or you can anger us and we will tear you from from your pedestals and never look back. Those little ones you treasure so much now, out there in the crowds? They're growing up just like we did and as we did, they will idolize you until you hurt us. And those kids? More savvy than we are.

Be careful, social media superstars. We are listening. And we are paying attention. It's easy to gain our acceptance. It's harder to gain our love. Even moreso our respect. But it's much harder to gain us back after you hurt us.

Don't make us angry. You won't like it.

TNA No Surrender 2011

No Surrender ended up with 9 matches by the end of the night:

1. Kid Kash v. Jesse Sorensen - 3 out of 5. Kid Kash won the #1 contender spot for the X-Division Championship.

2. Bully Ray v. James Storm - 4 out of 5. The guys brought it in the first BFG match of the night. Bully Ray won by DQ, miraculously putting him exactly 10 points ahead of both the other men yet to wrestle.

3. Winter v. Mickie James - 3 out of 5. Not sure why Mickie was dressed as Supergirl? But it didn't save her from falling victim to Winter's blood-spitting finisher yet again. Unfortunately, Angelina Love caught it first. I like the Knockouts division, but the back-and-forth is a little tired. We could pick one of these fine ladies and stick with them for a while. Let Winter hold onto it this time!

4. Pope & Devon v. Mexican America - 4 out of 5. Pope and Devon (or as I'll be referring to them, The Clergy) were basically up against the entire faction, and the girls helped keep the tag titles just out of their reach. Rosita delivered a beautiful drop-kick at one point, but Pope was quick with the retribution and bent her over his knee, delivering probably the weakest fake-spanking of all time. Still, there wasn't a moment that the girls weren't diving for a chance to get involved, and this was the first time I actually found myself liking them.

5. Samoa Joe v. Matt Morgan - 2 out of 5. I was prepared to give this a 3 if Joe somehow managed not to job. Alas, his days of killing people are over. Let's just put him in a box and ship him straight to Daniel Bryan.

6. Gunner v. Bobby Roode - 3 out of 5. I kind of expected Gunner to take this one, so it surprised me when he tapped. This of course meant that Roode and Bully Ray were tied in points and a final match would have to happen. More good news came when Bischoff came out and announced that the BFG series would be decided that night. Bobby had just one match to prepare.

7. Austin Aries v. Brian Kendrick - 4 out of 5. As Mehe put it, "Great match, okay end." Austin Aries beat the Wizard of Odd to become the new X-Division champion

8. Bully Ray v. Bobby Roode - 4 out of 5. All of Bully Ray's talk of being the next Heavyweight champion came down to this, and both men put on a great show. I was actually very happy that Roode pulled out the win for this, because this also frees up Bully Ray for that imminent feud with Gunner.

9. Ken Anderson v. Sting v. Kurt Angle - 3 out of 5. Same old, same old. Kurt Angle retained the title. Woo.

Dear TNA,

Hi there, Total Nonstop Action, how are you? It's been a long time since I've talked to you.

I have to say I don't really like what I'm seeing from you as of late, TNA. You seem listless, and disorganized. You don't really have a direction anymore. I'll admit I'm concerned about you; let's talk and see if we can't work out what's wrong together, okay? All right!

I miss your six sided ring. It was different and fun. I understand why you did away with it though, it must have been hard for the older of your inhabitants to adapt to it's uniqueness.

I miss the energy your younger guys used to have. The spotlight was all on them, and they seemed to know that your existence depended on whether or not they succeeded. Now your roster seems bloated with age and those who don't know how to let go. They're dragging you down to murky depths you don't deserve. Can't you cut them loose an rise above it all? You deserve better than this.

I don't think those who are in charge of you have your best interests at heart, TNA. They seem to revel in the mistakes your inhabitants make ad do nothing to help rectify the situation. Your stars perform incapacitated and aren't let go. Your champion drives intoxicated and doesnt even get a slap on the wrist. Your reputation is faltering in the eyes of your dearest admirers, and those in charge of you just keep lining their pockets at the expense of your soul.

I'm sorry, TNA. I don't want to browbeat you with your wrongdoings. Let's talk about something you're getting right. Your X Division is one of the most entertaining things in the work o pro wrestling today. You've got a bona fide star in your new champion, Austin Aires. This man is the future. Han your star on him and be proud. Promote him. Forget about that Jeff Hardy guy. He's no good for you. He's a poison.

Something else you're doing right is your Knockouts Division. There is nothing wrong here. Those women are the best in the business, as long as you allow them to shine. Keep up the good work.

I'm saddened to say that's about all I can find that you're doing correctly right now. So many things don't make sense with you. Your Bound For Glory series was a great concept, but it was so hard to follow that I feel many lost interest in it midway. Your leadership doesn't lead anymore, they just focus the lights on themselves and hope that their former glory will elevate you. It won't. Not when those leaders don't know what they themselves want from you.

I understand that you're feeling down and jerked around. We all are. Cut out the abusive boyfriends, TNA. Cut them away from you and shine! Shine like we know you should!

Smackdown 9- 9-11

The Matches:

1. Mark Henry v. Ezekiel Jackson - 2 out of 5. It probably should be a 3, but my attention span is short for both of these guys.

2. Sin Cara v. Tyson Kidd - 3 out of 5. Should have been a 4. 'Nuff said.

3. Kelly Kelly v. Natalya - 2 out of 5. Really, WWE? Wtf.

4. Sheamus v. Wade Barrett - 4 out of 5. I almost ought to give it a 5 just for Barrett's awesome coat. But this was an amazing match.

5. Air Boom v. Jinder Majal & The Great Khali - 3 out of 5. This was even better than the first, but Khali is always stiff, which brings down the rating.

6. Randy Orton v. Cody Rhodes - 4 out of 5. Just a few weeks ago, Mehe was saying that a champion v. champion match in WWE would mean nothing. We've had 2 now featuring Orton, and both have been awesome.

Mark Henry has been a monster heel since the draft, and week after week he continues to dominate the rest of the roster. It's really looking like he'll be headed for a title reign at Night of Champions. Lately he's added a cute nickname to his trail of distruction: The Hall of Pain. Barring injury or other unforeseen circumstances, I'm looking for this run to last him all the way to WrestleMania, and possibly longer. Does that mean I'm excited about it? Hell no. I've never been a big fan of Mark Henry. Yeah, he's big, he looks intimidating, and he could flatten you like a pancake, but that's the problem. I feel like that's been his entire gimmick the whole time. The only thing he's got to cling to is the "World's Strongest Man" claim, a moniker he won legitimately 9 years ago. The only other person in professional wrestling to cling to an accolade longer is, of course, Olympic Gold Medalist Kurt Angle. But that's another company, and another story.

Say, WWE, let's talk Divas, shall we? (Some of you are clicking on other websites already, I can hear it.) I was excited and hopeful when Beth and Nattie turned heel and teamed up to combat the rest of the roster. Most of which, let's face it, should be valeting rather than wrestling. The current Champion, Kelly Kelly, is the most notorious example and therefore the best target for their aggression, so in that respect the storyline has it right. The problem is in the execution. The Divas of Doom lit a fire under the Divas division... for about two weeks. They were quick to get lazy again, and the fact that Nattie and Beth are being forced to job to their Barbie-doll arch-nemesis week after week does not help the case. As a matter of fact, between pay-per-views, these girls probably shouldn't be facing each other at all. Antagonize each other during matches, sure, but those matches should be against other opponents. Let the rest of the division in on a little piece of action once in a while. It's absolutely pointless to create a dominating force in wrestling if they can't even win any on-air matches. Any more of this, and I'm going to have some VERY unkind words to write here. The whole thing already has me swearing at my TV.

With Night of Champions just a week away, there weren't any new developments to the card this week. I'm beginning to wonder what's in store for the mid-card titles this year. Here's hoping Dolph Ziggler and Cody Rhodes get to pummel each other in what could be a glorious resurrection of their respective titles.

TNA Impact 9-8-11

5 matches on the program last night:

1. Devon & Pope v. British Invasion - 3 out of 5.

2. Eric Young v. Robbie E. for Television Championship - 4 out of 5. Robbie oversold a lot of spots, but I have a feeling that's in his character. This was just really entertaining.

3. Kurt Angle v. Ken Anderson for Heavyweight Championship - 3 out of 5. Even with Sting as special guest enforcer, Ken couldn't keep from getting his ass handed to him by Immortal.

4. Winter & Angelina Love v. Mickie James & Velvet Sky - 4 out of 5. The knockouts are one of the reasons I keep tuning in to TNA. I would love to see this quality of performance from the Divas. Kelly, take notes.

5. Bully Ray v. Gunner v. Bobby Roode v. James Storm 4-way Tornado Match - 3 out of 5. Come on, how much abuse did Bully Ray think Gunner was gonna take? This has the potential of a being a great story no matter what happens in the Bound for Glory matches yet to take place. Of course, this is TNA, so I'm not holding my breath.

Let's get it out of the way: Jeff Freakin' Hardy. Much ado was made about his return this week. I think a lot of people are rubbed the wrong way about the Hardys in general, but here's the really scary part: at this point, Jeff is the NORMAL one. In probably the most tasteful move the company could have made after not releasing Jeff, his appearance was actually a quick one, just at the end of the show. He admitted he was screwed up, did not deserve the fan's forgiveness, and said that everyone in the back who was really pissed off at him had every right to be, and that he knows he doesn't deserve another shot. He then asked for another shot. *headdesk* Outside of the ring, just yesterday morning Jeff plead guilty to the charges against him. Some people may think that a $100k fine and a 10-day jail sentence are a slap on the wrist, but we're ignoring the last part of that sentence: a 30-month probation. That's almost 3 whole years Jeff has to be a good boy. And there's been no rehab to speak of, and probably won't be for the foreseeable future if he's going to return to work. Can we give him the benefit of the doubt at this point? I suppose we'll just have to wait and see how this unfolds.

There were a few vignettes and in-ring promos that just served to heat up rivalries. RVD finally took his frustration out on Jerry Lynn. Karen Jarret continued to be a bitch to the Knockouts. Brian Kendrick confused Austin Aries as he rambled through about 3 religions in under a minute and stripped off a very nice suit he'd bought to make a point about materialism. But the most prominent feud-building exercise was also the first, between Immortal & Beer Money. Bully Ray acknowledged Beer Money's place in tag team history, but he doesn't think that they'll look out for one another. You know, the way Gunner's gonna make sure Bully gets the championship. Gunner looked like he took exception to that, and he did. He ended up pinning Bully Ray in the 4-way main event. I'm really hoping they can turn this around to a face turn for Gunner and a rivalry between the two. I'd told Mehe at the top of the show that I hoped it didn't end up being Gunner v. Bully Ray in the BFG finals, but this was mostly out of fear of Finger Poke of Doom Part 2. Now that there's some beef, I want to see something happen.

Finally, this week's updates to No Surrender. Winter will have her rematch against Mickie James. These girls are consistent performers, and I like them both. Looking forward to another good show here. Also, the Heavyweight Championship match is now a three-way battle between Kurt Angle, Sting, and Ken Anderson. Bischoff looked downright depressed upon getting that update from "The Network" and Hulk... well, the only appropriate way to describe his reaction is HULK SMASH.

So the Pay-Per-View is set. 7 matches on the card for Sunday:

1. Bound for Glory: Bully Ray v. James Storm

2. Bound for Glory: Gunner v. Bobby Roode

3. Grudge Match: Samoa Joe v. Matt Morgan

4. X-Division Championship: Austin Aries v. Brian Kendrick (c)

5. Tag Team Championship: Devon & Pope v. Mexican America (c)

6. Knockouts Championship: Winter v. Mickie James (c)

7. World Heavyweight Championship: Sting v. Ken Anderson v. Kurt Angle (c)

Holding my predictions off for now...

Raw Supershow 9-5-11

Apologies for the delay, once again. To make up for it, I have a new format for discussing the shows, which includes a 1-5 ranking system for the matches!

The matches:

1. Air Boom v. The Great Khali & Jinder Mahal - 3 out of 5. Good spots and a surprising win from the champs, but overall pretty much what you'd expect.

2. Beth Phoenix v. Eve - 2 out of 5. #1 contenders matches, even (and probably especially) from the women should be better than this. Hopefully Beth can finish the job this time.

3. CM Punk v. R-Truth - 4 out of 5. Interesting matchup, and a good followup to last week's match with Miz. I'll admit it, I'm warming up to Truth.

4. Jerry Lawler & Zack Ryder v. David Otunga & Michael McGillicutty - 3 out of 5. I want to give this a 4 for Lawler & Ryder. But I also want to give it a 2 for Tag-Us. So I split the difference.

5. Randy Orton v. Heath Slater - 4 out of 5. Yeah, maybe it's cause I'm a Slater mark, but this match was overall better than expected.

6. Cena, Sheamus, Morrison, and Riley v. Christian, Ziggler, Swagger, and Barret - 3 out of 5. Sheamus, Barret, Ziggler, and Swagger performed admirably, but Morrison looked lazy, and come on, who didn't see Cena taking this match home for his team?

Now, let's talk developments this week. First issue: Kevin Nash. Nash has been stiff since his return, both physically and on the mic. Even hardcore nostalgia marks have been cringing at him. Well, Triple H fired him on air on Monday, and today the official announcement went up on WWE.com: Nash has been future endeavored. Will we see him again? He's undeniably a legend, and probably is still on friendly terms, but let's face it: this whole ordeal has been an embarrassment to the company. If we do see him again, I'd bank on it being a while. Hopefully by then he'll have loosened his mic chops back up, and we'll be able to listen to him without it hurting.

Now, let's talk about Zack Ryder. As you no doubt have noticed by now, we at Girls Watch Wrestling are card-carrying members of the Zack Pack. Somehow in my subconscious, when Lawler started talking about his partner this week, my first thought was "It's gotta be Zack Ryder." Excited to see him on Raw again, and doubly excited to see him win a real match against real wrestlers. The WWE seems to be toying with the idea of legitimizing the Internet Championship, which is something I would be okay with. TNA and Ring of Honor both have Television titles, and WWE does not. Sure, they have the Intercontinental and US championships, but the Internet Championship would be a great way to put some attention on lower-card performers. They could even take it a step further if they wanted, and open a monthly poll to the fans to choose which performers get to be contenders. Just a thought.

Lastly, there's the business portion of the talking segments. Several matches and stipulations were added to the card for Night of Champions. The Awesome Truth will be challenging Air Boom for the tag titles, which ought to be a great match no matter how you slice it. Beth Phoenix won the right to face Kelly for the Diva's championship. Hopefully Beth will take it home this time, but after SummerSlam, and with the way the Diva's division has begun to once again disappoint, I'm not holding my breath. And CM Punk's match with Triple H is now No Disqualifications. Oh yeah, if Trips loses, he has to resign as COO. You mean Nash is gone and we have an interesting stipulation for this match? Okay, guys, NOW I'm listening. I'm only wondering if Triple H will want something in return. Maybe, if Punk loses, he's not allowed to talk for a predetermined period of time? Like, at all. This guy has the face that can pull that off.

Okay, yeah. Suddenly I'm wanting to see Punk using only non-verbal communication...

SuperSmackdown 8-30-11

So in what almost has to be a test to see if SmackDown can handle competing with another live show where guys beat the crap out of each other, we had a special treat on Tuesday with SuperSmackDown! (On a side note, one wonders if it matters, since the brand extension appears to be over) We were of course treated to performers from both shows, and hey! It was pretty entertaining!

John Cena was the first face we saw, getting his bit over with early. He tried to call out Alberto Del Rio again, but luckily this time he was met with the next best thing--Ricardo Rodriguez. Ricardo calmly explained that Alberto is straightening some things out... no, wait, that wasn't it. The story he gave was that being in the ring with Del Rio was an honor, and for the privilege of actually challenging him for the title? He'd have to wait for Night of Champions. Cena responded really the only way he knows how--by punching the little guy. No leaving the ring for this guy, though. Not only did he have first promo, he also had first match against Wade Barrett. He won, of course, and made quick work of it, too. So quick that I was worried that the end of the brand extension might have a negative impact on the quality of the matches.

Matt Striker interviewed Mark Henry. He asked him if he had a preference as to which man he'd rather meet at Night of Champions, Orton or Christian. Henry told him that was the stupidest question ever, which it kind of was. Henry is destroying EVERYONE. I don't think it matters who's next on the list. He'll make his way to the other eventually.

NOFACE 2.0 had a match with Daniel Bryan. The match itself was pretty great, but of course the big story here is the finish. After defeating Bryan, it looked like Sin Cara was going to show some sportsmanship by shaking his opponent's hand. When Bryan took it however, he turned on Mr. Money-in-the-Bank and kicked him in the head! Heel turn! Rumors are abuzz for a Sin Cara vs. Sin Cara angle.

The Divas of Doom FINALLY got a win over their arch nemesis and her partner-du-jour, Alicia Fox. It was nice to see, but, my attention span at this point is a little... ooo kitty!

What was I saying? Oh! At that point it was time for the contract signing. Punk and Triple H had heated words for each other. Punk stated that he's still a fan and wants better from the company, Trips claimed that at least half the fans actually enjoy the product as it is. The COO went on to explain to Punk how he's bent over backwards to make him happy in the company. Unfortunately, the example he used was that he secured the licensing for Punk's entrance music. One wonders why Punk didn't snark back, "Oh, how hard could that have been? Here, let me pay you a ludicrous amount of money to use your song every week."

So the contract got signed, and then Nash rushed in. Trips tried to keep Punk at bay, but it didn't last long. Punk got at Nash, Nash laid out Punk, and then when Triple H turned to go, "What the hell, dude?" he pushed over the boss, too!

Nash, sit down, organize your pillbox, and let the guys who still have knees do the work. You're only making the rest of us cry.

Sheamus had a match with the Great Khali. Jinder Majal interfered and gave Sheamus the DQ win, but the fight didn't end there. That's okay, Sheamus still came out on top in the end.

The main event on Tuesday was, of course, Orton and Christian in a steel cage for the title. It was a pretty good match, actually. What these two lack in promos for their feud, they have certainly made up for in the ring. Once again, knowing full well that they weren't what people would be talking about the next day, they went out there and performed like they WERE. No surprise here, Orton retained his championship, but the victory was short-lived, and Mark Henry showed up to deliver his message of DON'T TEST ME SON. He pretty much destroyed Orton, and to add insult to injury, the show ended with Henry standing over the champ, holding up his title belt.