1. Miss Tessmacher v. Mickie James - 2 out of 5. After another episode of Karen Jarret is a Bitch (I literally write that every time she's on screen), Mickie James surprised no one with this victory. This was also much shorter and much more lacking in physicality than a standard Knockouts match.
2. Austin Aries v. Jesse Sorensen - 4 out of 5. Pretty much everything an X-Division title match should be. Great heel work from Aries, great use of the football by everyone involved, and awesome spots galore.
3. Bully Ray & Jerry Lynn v. Mr. Anderson - 3 out of 5. This was supposed to have been a tag match, except RVD was taken out off-camera. For a 2-on-1, though it worked, and the heels worked their magic to make sure they came out on top.
4. Christopher Daniels v. Bobby Roode - N/A. The match didn't happen, as Daniels refused to fight his friend. Didn't stop A.J. Styles from coming down and fighting Daniels himself.
5. Kurt Angle v. James Storm - 4 out of 5. This is a rating coming from the boy. Apparently, Storm is *checks notes* "that damn good."
So, Bound For Glory updates. Only one that I can see here, and that's Mickie James advancing to her spot in the Knockout's match. Anyone who didn't see that coming is living in some pretty deep denial. It's okay, though. You can come out from under that rock. I promise we won't bite.. hard... Next up it will be Tara v. Madison Rayne. Three guesses how that will turn out. Did I mention that the first two don't count?
So Sting is still trying to go up against Hogan. I understand this is the way you settle things in the world of professional wrestling, but really, why? At least Hogan looks better physically speaking than Ric Flair does. Just when I think my days of yelling, "PUT ON A SHIRT!" at the TV are over, I am proven wrong yet again. Hogan seems extremely against the idea of getting in the ring with Sting, and who can blame him? I have a theory that at this point those bandanas he wears are like Gallagher's hats... those extensions are fastened to them, and if it were to come off in the middle of, say, a powerbomb, the spell would be broken, and even the markiest of marks would be able to see just how far from grace he has actually fallen. At midnight, Hogan turns into a pumpkin.
One more note about Hogan before I move on, and I know that I'll probably catch some heat for saying this, but it needs to be said: Hulkamania is dead. The poison that first infected it in 1996 slowly worked its way through to the heart of the craze, and these days all that is left is a hollow shell. Internet historians have documented its run well, on sites like Wikipedia, and YouTube. But honestly? The name Hulk Hogan has lost the hype it once had, and is likely never to crawl out of that grave.
Jeff continues to look for atonement among the roster, and last night was a good step in the right direction. It certainly helped that the first person he talked to was Al Snow (hi mom!), who had some sage advice for him: start at the top. So that's what he did. In his search for Kurt Angle, he ran into Matt Morgan, who apparently feels Jeff deserves one more chance to make it right with the company he totally screwed over. When he did find Kurt, however, the World Champ basically told him to GTFO, and Jeff was finally offended by someone's opinion of him. After two weeks of taking what has been dished to him quietly, he finally stood up to the biggest nay-sayer he's come across yet. What are Bischoff and Hogan going to say? That he's only there cause the Network wants him there? Ninja, please.