Impact 3-29-12

1. Madison Rayne v. Velvet Skye - 3 out of 5
2. Matt Morgan v. Crimson - 2 out of 5
3. Jeff Hardy v. Ken Anderson - 2 out of 5
4. Bully Ray & Bobby Roode v. James Storm & Austin Aries - 4 out of 5


As you can see from the short list, it was a light wrestling night on TNA. There's a lot of story building to do at this point between pay-per-views, and of course we had to deal with the whole, "Is Hogan GM of Impact?" thing.

I think the bottom of the story-telling ladder, really, would have to be Matt Morgan and Crimson. The match was announced, later there was a video package detailing their journey, and then their introductions were interrupted by Austin Aries before they were allowed to put on another terrible match. It started during the commercial (because they couldn't wait to get their hands on each other), and it ended in a double count-out (because they couldn't stop putting their hands on each other). Christy Hemme announced, "There is no winner" and that was more accurate than she realized.

Next we have Kurt Angle and Jeff Hardy. Kurt Angle cut a promo backstage saying that hell, no he wasn't going to give Jeff Hardy a rematch at Lockdown, because Jeff Hardy was a crybaby. Then he turned around and said that if Hardy beat Mr. Anderson tonight, he would face him at Lockdown. I missed the beginning of this match, but it was another low point on the card, which ended in Kurt Angle sneaking in and incapacitating Hardy so that Anderson could pick up the win. I don't know if there's anything they can do to save this angle for me, but if there is, they need to do it, like, yesterday.

ODB and Eric Young saw a wedding planner, briefly, until ODB kicked her out. She's decided that their wedding is going to be inside a steel cage. I am A-OK with that.

Eric Bischoff called his son into the ring for one final challenge. Turns out that final challenge is to face off against Gunner in a steel cage at Lockdown... unless of course, Garrett would like to just go ahead and walk away now. Screw you, dad. I hate you.

Madison Rayne and Gail Kim made up backstage, Madison got a new crown to wear, and then Velvet Sky beat her in their match. Afterwards, she put Gail and the rest of the Knockouts on alert that she's got her eye squarely on that title, and she's not going to rest till she gets it. The acting could have used a little work, but Velvet was fucking fired up, which is nice to see.

The show started with a talking segment from Bobby Roode that ended with first James Storm and then Bully Ray showing up, and James Storm challenging them to a handicap match. Bully and Bobby of course felt that they could take him, so they accepted. Remember how I said Aries interrupted the introductions for the Crimson/Morgan match? He did that to let Bully Ray know that they now have a problem, and to proposition James Storm into letting him be his tag team partner. Yeah, it looks like Aries just turned face. During the main event tag team match, Aries was awesome, and the fight looked to be more or less even (with Aries more than making up with speed what he lacks in size). Bobby Roode was going to spit some beer into Storm's face, but missed and hit Bully instead, and then PUSHED Bully into Storm's superkick. I am very okay with A Double being in my main event. If this was a test from management, I think he passed it with flying colors. More Aries on my television can only be a good thing.

And then... Hogan. We saw a pre-taped video of Dixie begging Hogan to accept the job, and Hogan being very hesitant. Hogan apparently felt he was done with wrestling (yeah, right). At the end of the night, Dixie demanded an answer from Hogan in the ring. Hogan still tried to say no, until Sting showed up with half the locker room, and told him it was his destiny. Hogan finally accepted after confirming that Sting is his BFF. You know what? I'm not gonna hate on it yet. Yeah, I know we're all sick of Hogan and all his drama and bullshit. But you know he's gonna be around forever. If he's gonna be around, I'd rather see him as a personal manager to one or more of the wrestlers. But General Manager of the show, I think I'm going to give a chance. Even though it makes no sense. Even though Hogan can never, ever, ever be fully trusted again. Even though this is probably going to end badly eventually. I want to give it a shot, on the off-chance that this is Hogan's way of saving the tail-end of his career, because he knows his television days could be numbered.