Time to catch up!

We at Girls Watch Wrestling apologize for the delay in updates and want to reassure our readers that everything in our house and with our families. Luckily for us, we and our loved ones sustained minimal damage from the hurricane, and everyone is safe and secure.

To save everyone from a Wall of Text, I'm going to try to condense what we've missed as much as possible.

Due to the craziness that was Hurricane Preparation, Mehe and I both missed TNA Impact. I gather from the twitter feed that followed the next day, however, that Cookie has been released and has already lined up work elsewhere. Also, Kurt Angle apparently beat the fuck out of Gunner, and he reported that yes, he really needed 9 stitches. So there's that.

So, on to highlights from Smackdown! Bret Hart was the special guest GM last week, and he called Christian an embarrassment to Canada, with his hair wet (which he really really needs to not do at this point). Well, Christian had a note from his lawyer stating that no one would get a title shot before him, so Bret went ahead and booked him in a steel cage title match on SuperSmackDown tonight. After that, he beat Danial Bryan in a match.

Next up, Wade Barrett was faced with some local no-name, so he expressed his disrespect and exited the arena. After that, in what has become something of an infamous incident throughout the Internet Wrestling Community, Sin Cara beat Heath Slater. Apparently, this match was much more horrid than what we were shown and they had to go back twice to retape spots. Kinda sounds like NOFACE 2.0 is not working out much better than the original.

Ted DiBiase had a match against Orton, but the real star here was Cody Rhodes being absolute magic. First, he talked up some big words, and then when Ted was unable once again to come away with the win, he planted the Boy Wonder and put a paper bag over his head.

There was a Divas match. Worst one since the Divas of Doom reboot, because Kelly's opponent was Tamina, and apparently we're supposed to believe that Kelly's the more dominant athlete in this matchup. Kelly pounded on Tamina for several minutes before the legacy diva finally got some licks of her own in. Ultimately, though, Kelly got in her Five Moves of Doom. Probably this match was supposed to make Kelly look like a formidable competitor, but it only made me that much more hungry to see Nattie and Beth CRUSH HER.

Big Zeke beat Khali. Whoopi. Sheamus gave Mark Henry a taste of his own medicine and won their bout via countout. It made him look absolutely dominating. Mark Henry took out his frustrations on the announce table after he used it to regain his feet.

Meanwhile, on Monday Night Raw: HHH is still pissed about last week, but first! The Brand Extension is over! Starting immediately! Okay, enough of that, time for a game of Why, Nash, Why??? Punk joined in the game and demanded that the COO stop lying to HIM. Then Nash had what I'm told is the old NWO theme (yeah, I'm still working on my history lessons, I would not have pulled that one out by myself), and wore an apparently similarly nostalgic outfit. Turns out Laurinaitis gave him a job. Punk was disgusted... to say the least. He made some more jabs about Stephanie McMahon, and then reminded us once again about that whole "pipe bomb" thing when he went THERE. When you question your boss's... manliness, shall we say?... well, hey, he got what he wanted as the end result. Nash at Night of Champions.

Champion vs. Champion! Randy Orton took on Dolph Ziggler. The match was amazing, and it could be easy to skim over the small things, but I'm a bit of a Vickie mark, and I have to say two things about her screen time last night: First of all, it was very refreshing to have Vickie ringside and not hear ONE WORD from the commentators about her physical appearance. Secondly, she absolutely shined in her role as a manager. If she keeps up this amazing performance, there may be a spot for her in the Hall of Fame someday.

John Cena tried to call out ADR, but got Mark Henry instead. Then Christian joined. Then Sheamus balanced things out and the heels left. The main event for the night was born.

The Miz vs. CM Punk. Ohhhhh yes, my friends, I was a happy little fangirl to see those two in the ring together. Miz cut an AWESOME promo (which Punk yawned through) and then they got their game faces on. Looked like the match was over for Miz, but Miz didn't care about the win last night. His new friend R-Truth rushed to the ring to help him beat down Punk, and it wasn't long at all before Nash joined the party, and then ended it with a powerbomb.

NOFACE and his horrible mood lighting were in the ring with Jack Swagger. Vickie was observing again. 3 guesses how this turned out. Dolph got jealous, but this time he actually got up on the apron and started screaming insults at Swagger who instantly got rolled up by Sin Cara. After that, it was time for the rematch for the Tag Team Championship. Air Boom (dang, I so liked "Infectious") retained against Tag-Us, who took their frustrations out on Jerry Lawler's headset because he called them boring. Truth hurts, don't it boys?

The Bellas beat Kelly using Twin Magic. Thank God.

I, uh, fell asleep here. Sorry! I've been sick for awhile, and I'd taken something, and I finally lost consciousness just before the main event. I have been told, and have read, that John Cena and Sheamus beat Christian and Mark Henry when Cena pinned Christian. Also, after the match, apparently Trips told Punk that there was a change on the card for Night of Champions. Instead of Nash, Punk is going to be facing the Game himself.

One wonders if that has anything to do with that "panties" comment....