So, let's talk Monday Night Raw, shall we?
The plot thickens in the Cena/Punk rivalry! HHH announced that he can't trust anyone but himself, so he's decided to appoint himself the special guest referee in the undisputed championship match on Sunday. What about the rest of us, Trips? Do you think we trust you? I trust Mr. Helmsley about as far as I can throw him... which basically means, if I trust him, I hurt myself and end up needing a chiropractor. Cena must feel the same way, because he had some words to exchange with the new McMahon as he entered the ring for his match. The response?
"Whatever happens in that match, it'll be because I want it to happen."
Well, that's not making us feel any better about this potential abuse of power.
After that, Cena beat Jack Swagger. Predictable, but it still made me sad. Yes, I like Jack Swagger. No, I don't know why. By the way, I know I'm not the only one who's waiting for Jack to start carrying a sport's almanac with him to the ring.
I missed a lot more of the next bit of Raw than intended. Went to grab some grub, got parked and forgotten about, and as a result, I completely missed Miz destroying Rey Mysterio (DAMMIT!) and Kofi Kingston. Which would have been fine, but I also missed Punk's victory over Alberto Del Rio (DOUBLE DAMMIT!).
The Divas continued to work hopefully towards a new era of women's wrestling in the WWE. Beth Phoenix came out on top to beat Wonder Woman--I mean Eve! She followed by beginning to cut another heel-tastic promo, but she made the mistake of exiting the ring first, and was quickly ambushed by SuperGirl--I mean Kelly! (There are a lot of superheroes in the WWE by the way, have you noticed? I'm still trying to decide who Beth Phoenix is, but I'm starting to think she should be carrying at Boom Stick.) As a girl who loves wrestling and has lamented the decline of the Diva's division, I'm hoping that Beth and Kelly can carry a halfway decent match on Sunday. I fully expect Beth to devour Kelly, of course--if her ears don't start bleeding from all the screaming.
Dolph "Perfect 2.0" Ziggler took on Alex Riley in what should have been a no-brainer. But for some reason, Vickie got involved, Dolph got disqualified and the two began to argue. HOORAY!!! I'm probably the only person in the world who thinks this, but I want to see Vickie turn face. Probably, however, it'll be Dolph that turns, leaving Vickie open to manage another hot new heel. Maybe she can team up with Riley and make him as interesting as his theme music!
R-Truth vs. John Morrison. I love that R-Truth is running with the whole arachnophobia thing, because how many times have the commentators called Morrison Spiderman? Mehe picked Truth in our fantasy draft this year, and at first I scoffed at her. The first time she got points off him, I was in disbelief. Now, I can't even believe her luck. Kudos to you, and your "feelings," Mehe. I may have to trade in for him after this Sunday.
And then there was the main event: the contract signing. Cena and Punk traded "The Reason You Suck" Speeches for a while, and eventually they got around to actually signing the damn thing. Punk's been hot as of late, and I love it, and I am rooting for Punk, but dammit all I have to give Cena his due. He's always been able to talk. Ever seen his early backstage promo as The Prototype? It was clear then that he had that particular skill pretty well under his belt. We keep forgetting that he's supposed to be the FACE in this situation because we're all so enamored with the supposed bad guy. But Punk isn't the Lex Luthor to John Cena's Superman. He's Batman. It's just a matter of taste, and I've always been a Batman kinda girl anyway.
Oh, right, the contract signing. Punk called Cena a failed bodybuilder, Cena called Punk a one-hit wonder, and then they both decided that the only way they could truly express their emotions was the simplest basis of the company: physical violence. John Laurinaitis recieved a misaimed blow, HHH got between them, and it all ended with Punk being justifiably paranoid that the new COO is in Cena's corner. I gotta tell you, kids, I really don't have any idea what to expect on Sunday when it comes to these guys.
Watch that HHH dude, though. He seems shady.