Let Me Sleep On It

Ok, so I slept about five hours before I got woken up by a horrendous coughing storm.  Now it's too late to go back to sleep before I go back to my real job.  How to spend the time?

Blogging, of course!

Five hours of sleep means we're now six hours removed from SummerSlam 2011, and I can be just a little more objective about the August pay per view.

Let me say this now: I still don't think it was great.  However, I do have a revised opinion of a couple of things.  Like, that ending.  It was convoluted, sure.  It was messy.  I was disappointed that C.M. Punk didn't get to take his title home and put it in the hotel fridge.  That being said- who'd have thought Kevin Nash'd show up.  I don't think anyone saw that coming.

Many people have complained recently about the predictability of the WWE lately.  Well, that pay per view was anything but.  I don't think I've ever gone a whole show and not gotten one single match right.  And you know what? I like that.  I appreciate the feeling that I no longer know what's going to happen.  It's exciting.

This is Mehe, signing off for now.

SummerSlam 2011: The Greatest Party of the Summer?

Its 6 o'clock EST.  Two hours til showtime!

I'm not excited.

Not at all. Why?

There's just five matches planned, that's why.  I know Jim Ross let slip on his twitter that there might be surprises coming, but let's be honest- this is supposed to be the second biggest pay per view of the year, right behind WrestleMania.  There's talk that Cee Lo Green has ninety minutes set aside for his 'concert'.  That's an hour and a half.  An HOUR AND A HALF.  Please, correct me if I'm wrong, but the majority of fans watch these pay per views for the WRESTLING, not some concert.  Didn't the WWE learn anything from the Kid Rock debacle at WrestleMania 25.  His set went on way too long and completely overshadowed the 25-diva battle royal that followed it.  It was terrible.  I predict nothing less for this 'concert'.

That being said, let's take a look at the card, shall we?

Daniel Bryan vs. Wade Barrett: A go-home addition to the card, this match has promise.  Both Bryan and Barrett are good workers in the ring.  Erm... well, Bryan is a great worker in the ring but for some reason the WWE only wants him to be mediocre at best.  Barrett has shown vast improvement since the Nexus debuted last year.  He is light years ahead of the rest of the former stable, and I truly feel he's gonna be a breakout star in the next year.  One can only hope, at least.  Bryan'll win this one, probably by the skin of his teeth.

Kelly Kelly (the Divas Champion) vs. Beth Phoenix:  I have extremely high hopes for this match.  I want to see Beth wipe the floor with Kelly.  I want to see a strong Diva (I almost typed knockout, ha ha) with the TrampStamp Title.  Beth is by far the best WWE Diva under contract today.  Sorry, Nattie.  She's strong, sexy, talented, and able to use a microphone.  She also does not look like she needs to make a trip to the catering table at least twice a day.  She's a real woman.  And I like that.  I predict Beth wins the match, and begin a new strong Diva era.

Sheamus vs. Mark Henry:  Personal bias here.  I want to see Sheamus win this, cause he's dead sexy.  He's got everything going for him, and if by the grace of whomever's watching over me I ever get a chance at him, I'm so taking it.  Besides my personal bias, Smackdown is lacking in a strong babyface character at the moment, and Sheamus can be that man.  He's got everything he needs to do it- mike skills, talent, good looks.  Exceedingly hot good looks.  LET'S GO SHEAMUS.  DO IT FOR IRELAND.  DO IT FOR YOUR FANGIRLS.  (Oh, and if there are any other Sheamus fangirls reading this, let me know.)

Christian (World Heavyweight Champion) vs. Randy Orton:  This match could really go either way and the crowd will go home happy.  If Orton wins, the crowd gets their beloved Viper back with gold, if Christian wins, they get to boo the bad guy out of the arena.  I'm a little reticient to make a prediction for this, but I'm gonna go with Christian.

C.M. Punk (WWE Champion) vs. JHERRRRRRNNNNNN CEEEEEENAAAAA (WWE Champion):  YOu know, I'm looking forward to this match most of all.  There's massive momentum heading into this.  C.M. Punk has the disillusioned Voiceless in his corner and his pocket.  He knows that John was right on Monday.  He needs this match.  He needs to win.  Because the typical WWE fan is fickle.  They'll jump right back on the JOHNCENABANDWAGON as soon as John wins a match against Punk.  and Cena?  Cena needs this match, too.  He might already have his WrestleMania 28 opponent inked, but what if his fans turn on him before then?  Who'll care about Cena then?

There's one element in this match that I didn't mention, the special guest referee.  The COO of the WWE, Mr. Haiches (thanks to R-Truth).  Haiches has an agenda here, and anyone who thinks he's not going to pull some hijinks is fooling themselves.  When has a special guest referee ever called a match straight down the middle?  HHH is going to interfere somehow, and when he does, it's going to backfire on him.

The wildcard in this match is John Lauranitis.  He's been punched in the face by Cena and kicked in the head by Punk.  There's no way he's going to sit quietly on the sidelines while this match is contested.  To quote a theme, there's no chance in hell.

I'm giving this match to C.M. Punk.  He's riding so high right now he can't afford to lose.  I don't think he's going to win clean.  I don't think he cares, either.  A win is a win, and no matter what, Punk is a winner.

This is Mehe, signing off for now.

Hardcore Justice!

And so joins the other half of this dynamic duo...

Ali. Unashamed fangirl. Or, as Mehe and I determined earlier, the Jerry "The King" Lawler to her Jim Ross. (PUPPIES!!!!!)

Several months ago, I finally sat down and watched a whole episode of TNA Impact! I texted Mehe during the show to ask her if they were always this passionate. Turns out, they are. It was very jarring to me, and as a matter of fact, the only TNA I watched after that was to tune in the night after the infamous Sting/Hardy match to see how they were gonna treat that incident. I tuned in, they immediately buried Jeff, and I tuned out again. I wasn't able to watch again until my boyfriend clued me in on HOW to approach this company. "You can't watch it for the story," he told me, "But the wrestling is amazing."

He was right. I watched the very next week, and I was just in time for the buildup to Destination X. Even though at the time I had no idea who half these guys were, I watched that. So I've been following for about a month and a half. Hardcore Justice (SING IT) was this past Sunday. So! In order:

X-Division title: First of all, what the hell was Kendrick wearing? Actually, I have to admit that I have no other outstanding thoughts from this match. When Kendrick won, I turned to Mehe and asked, "Does this mean it's Hammer Time now?"

Knockouts Tag: I love Tara. I've finally gotten used to referring to her as Tara. Rosita and Sarita... don't know much about them, but I do have to say that I really hate that little dance they do as part of the Mexican America entrance. It just looks lazy and uncoordinated. Maybe if the girls were closer to the same height. Or seemed to have any kind of fire that you normally expect from a performer appearing from backstage. You know what? I don't think I would like it even then. Moving on, I'm told that Sarita has something or other going on with her face. Still, that mask was frightening. She looked like something out of a slasher film! Which again, would probably work better if Rosita wore a mask too. Perhaps to support her partner?

BFG: The Pope v. Devon: I like this rivalry going into the match. The thing I like about it is that, unless I'm completely missing something, there's no real clear villain. Pope is just trying to be friendly, and Devon is just playing the overprotective father. When the match began, Pope was doing all he could to lay down for Devon and let him have the points. Since Devon was having none of it, he started going through the motions of having a match, and by the end, he was really wrestling and even came away with the win. He looked sad to have had to do it, but on the other hand, Devon actually looked impressed that he took the effort. I have to say I am probably most looking forward to seeing how this one plays out on Thursday.

Knockouts Championship: My first taste of Mickie James was her whole fangirl story with Trish over on WWE. I liked her then, and I like her now. So sue me. I'm also growing fond of Winter, so this was another match I was looking forward to. I was a little distracted by Mickie's hair (seriously, not sure what she was going for, but I don't think it panned out), but I honestly wasn't sure what to expect of the outcome. It didn't disappoint. Winter ended up going full Muta on Mickie and taking the title from her. A little distraction by Angelina Love probably didn't hurt.

BFG: Crimson v. RVD: This match happened. Jerry Lynn ended up costing RVD the match and actually lost him 10 points. I think this brought us up to speed on the rules of the scoring finally. I would say more about this match, but honestly Mehe and I spent most of the time talking about RVD's awesome ass and thighs and the terrible things we would do to them if we ever got hold of them. You know, the usual.

Fortune v. Immortal: You know what? Not gonna lie. Don't remember this one at all. Not even sure if we were still talking about the Jerry Lynn interference or what. Complete mystery.

Bully Ray v. Ken Anderson: THE grudge match of the show. Also included the best spot of the night. While Anderson was doing is regular entrance, Bully Ray showed up behind him and smiled smugly at the thought of ambushing him. Didn't work out that way. After his first "MISTER ANDERSON" he followed immediately with, "Yeah I know he's behind me" and proceeded to lay out Bully Ray. Not only that, once his foe was suitably subdued, he took the time to grab his mic and finish with his second "ANDERSON!" He didn't end up taking the match all the way home, but I have a feeling that Immortal may have an opening for a new acting leader.

Tag Team Championship: Beer Money took on Mexican America. Who had their own flag. And we had to watch that awful dance again. I think I finished the block I was crocheting during this match. I probably should have been paying attention, but I kind of wasn't. Sorry :(

World Heavyweight Championship: Kurt Angle challenged Sting and the Insane Icon took the bait. It was a good match even without the twist ending. Remember how I said Immortal might have a spot open? Looks like Kurt's the man for the position. Hogan came to the ring and brought a chair with him. After snatching the chair, and chasing Hulk out, Angle took the paper ref opportunity to use the chair on Sting and pick up the victory. I am actually looking forward to Thursday.

Whew! And just think... I haven't even talked about Monday Night Raw yet!