Did I not do a week in review last week? I could have sworn I wrote that article!! Well, now I'm stumped. And frustrated. WTF.
TNA presents Hardcore Justice
1. 20 point steals. So I came in about halfway through (work, blah.), so I missed the first of the Bound for Glory Matches. However, I did get to see the other two, which were pretty awesome for the most part. Robbie E fucked up a faux-table spot, and Bully Ray ended up cracking his elbow on the end of it, but at the end of that match, and despite the presence of Aces & 8s, Bully Ray exploded out of nowhere to put Jeff Hardy through a table and win, which was something I was extremely happy to see. Bully Ray is one of those guys, like I mentioned before, that has been chasing the title for a very long time and has yet to reach his goal. I'd be very happy to see him win the series and challenge for the title at Bound For Glory. Meanwhile, in the ladder match, Samoa Joe and Kurt Angle played a game of one-upsmanship as they took turns destroying Christopher Daniels after AJ had been taken out. At the end, Joe head-butted Kurt off the top of the ladder and seemed poised to win. And then that little monkey AJ jumped from the floor, to the apron, to the top rope, to the top of the ladder, to snatch the clipboard that symbolized the 20 points they were competing for out from under Joe's nose. Joe's reaction was priceless, but I think Mehe was more entertained my fifteen-minute rage-fest afterwards. I'm also really pulling for Joe. Cause as I mentioned, I like it when Joe gets pissed off and I want to see him do all kinds of awesome things.
2. Pretty, Pretty Champion. It needs to be said: I like Zema Ion. Kenny King is certainly a great competitor, but he just showed up in the company and I don't think it does anyone any good to flip the title over so quickly. Besides, Ion is a FABULOUS heel. You hate him? Good! He's doing a great job of being a smug, unapologetic jerk. People are still upset over Jesse Sorensen's injury, but here's the thing. He's taken that stigma--even from the second it happened--and he's run with it. He never flinched for a second. He never broke character. When Jesse was well enough to show up and address the audience, he came out and actually thanked the guy for making him famous. Yeah, the incident catapulted Ion to the forefront of the X-Division, but I think he would have made it there eventually. I think it's something in the way he takes every step like there's a hole in front of him, or in the way he grins and sprays his hairspray constantly and yet haphazardly. Or maybe it's the way he apologizes to the ref for doing something questionable and promises him that he won't use the hairspray on his opponent (which, by the way, he didn't).
3. High Championship Drama. Austin Aries and Bobby Roode had their big no rematches, winner-takes-all match at Hardcore Justice, and it was a thing of beauty. How awesome was it, you ask? Two words: Super Brainbuster. Baby Hebner was the original ref, and he got taken out mid-match, so when there was a pin attempt, there was no ref to call it. Then a ref named Stiffler (no, I'm not making that up) came out to take over, and he got taken out too. Repeat. Then, in an amazing turn of events, both refs came too just in time to count a pin, except each ref counted a different man. Senior Ref Earl Hebner came to the rescue and ruled that the match be restarted, and Aries prevailed--just barely. I think Roode will have a lot to say about it in coming weeks, for sure. Seems like opinions are split on the whole match restart scenario, but I was loving every second of it. It was definitely not something you see every day. The match needed a finish because of the stipulations. They teased a dust, and then turned it around and gave it a real finish while also giving Roode reason to still chase after Aries (since we've already seen the next PPV poster).
Monday Night Raw
1. Three-way #RawActive Con. I know people are upset about the supposed uselessness of the RawActive twitter polls. People are being conned into believing that they are making an impact on the show by being given choices that are either all the same, obviously one-sided, or turn out to be totally moot. The latter was the case on Monday when fans were asked to choose between Miz, Jericho, and Dolph Ziggler to be the guest on Piper's Pit. Jericho won, of course, but Miz and Ziggler both were quick to interrupt because, obviously, people should be wanting to hear from all of them. Piper had some kind of unintelligible verbal outburst towards Miz trying to take over the show, and then a fight broke out. So AJ did the only logical thing and made a triple-threat match. Three amazing athletes in the ring at one time, and these guys are really three of my favorites. So it was no surprise that this was actually a really good match. It really didn't matter who won, because everyone wins when the wrestling is that good.
2. Kaitlyn is My New Favorite Diva. Kaitlyn teamed up with Layla to take on Eve & Beth Phoenix, and while I was already happy to see Kaitlyn in the ring, she certainly put in the most noticeable performance. Layla dominated the ring-time for her team, but when Kaitlyn was finally tagged in, what was the first thing she did? A motherfucking backbreaker. I'm really looking forward to her contributions to the division.
3. Christian is the new Kane. Christian v. Damien Sandow. Oh, Gods, yes, please. Anytime Sandow is on my screen I am a happy, happy girl. Damien Sandow started strong and has done nothing but gain steam, and I love every minute of it. And Christian may not have the greatest on-screen character, but he's an amazing technician and one of the best guys to feud with. My favorite rivalry from last year was Christian v. Randy Orton. Now, I don't normally mark out hard for Orton (except fot that scoop slam--WHOOSH!), but those two put on an increasingly entertaining program and it was a great sadness to me when it was all over. Point is, Christian is a great guy to get new guys over. As someone who remembers the debut of The Brood, it's still a bit odd to me to think of Christian as a veteran, but he really is just that good at making his opponents look even better. Hard-core Christian fans may be upset by this new use of him, but I think it's a very good use for him, and I love him for it.
TNA Impact!
1. A Hogan Makes a Good Decision. Following her controversial win at Hardcore Justice, Madison Rayne attempted to celebrate being Knockouts Champion with her beau, Earl Hebner, but Brooke Hogan interrupted her and made a logical, authoritative decision: she fired Hebner as the ref for the Knockouts. She also ordered a rematch for the title, and even attempted to accept Madison's challenge for a fight. Madison was quick to slide out of the ring as Hogan jumped in, and Brooke declared, "I'm a Hogan! We don't go anywhere!" Smart Marks everywhere snickered. Me? I have to say I'm not hating Brooke Hogan the character yet. Time will tell.
2. AJ Styles does the right thing. Styles is SICK OF THIS SHIT ALREADY. And I don't blame him. As a fan of TNA, I've been tired of this since Daniels brought Styles those pictures of him with Dixie. He just so happened to have a BFG series match with Daniels that night, so he put up some stipulations to settle this once and for all. If Daniels wins, AJ accepts he is the father. If AJ wins, he's demanding a paternity test. Despite Kaz's best attempts to cheat, AJ ultimately came out on top, so I'm hoping that in the next episode of Impact, we get one of three resolutions. 1) Claire tries to thwart AJ's attempts at a paternity test until she is forced to admit she isn't pregnant, 2) AJ comes out to the ring with the envelope, which he hasn't even opened yet, and reads the results on live TV that he is not the father, or 3) Claire, in tears, has to admit that the father is really some homeless guy she fucked in a dark alley one night to satisfy her dealer's sick obsessions so she could get a fix, and she was just trying to pin it on AJ because, I suppose, he has money. Or something. Anyway, a final resolution will make Ali a happy, happy kitty.
3. Oh, Thank God. So, Bully Ray and Jeff Hardy had a BFG series match as the main event, and James Storm showed up to look ominous midway through, because fuck Bully Ray I suppose. Anyway, after Hardy pulled out the win, Storm came in to the ring to fight Bully Ray and nailed Hardy instead. Afterwards, Aces & 8s came in and finally laid Storm out. So, my Hardy theory still lives. And I'm happy about that. Yes, I'm aware that it probably won't happen. But if it does, expect inconceivable levels of obnoxious behavior over here.
Friday Night Smackdown
1. Wait... No Ryback? After spending weeks being humiliated by Ryback, and on the heels of last week's non-committal response from Smackdown GM Booker T of "make your own opportunities", Tyler Reks and Curt Hawkins certainly made an impression on Friday. They showed up in suits, did a Chippendale routine, and then defeated two local jobbers. And afterwards, NOTHING HAPPENED. I wasn't even thinking about the idea that these are a couple of the guys who have been vocal about their underuse, and besides that, I like to look on the bright side of things. Something interesting happened. I was entertained. They beat their opponents. No one tried to challenge them afterwards. I think this is a win for them, and I hope it develops into something cool.
2. Executive Assistant 2: The Executing. After being totally and unjustifiably rejected by Booker for the second time, and voicing her intent to file a complaint with the Board of Directors, Eve got the chance to get a job in the GM's office the only way one can in WWE: a match! She took on Kaitlyn, and while I love the young rookie, I was extremely happy to see Eve win this one. Eve's schtick as a naughty secretary is her best work, and Kaitlyn definitely belongs in the ring. Even Booker seemed reluctantly impressed, and besides, the adverse work environment opposite Teddy Long should be very interesting.
3. A Go-Home Show on Friday? Get Out. I have to say that overall, I was pleasantly surprised by this Smackdown. Usually on the Friday night before a pay-per-view, especially a big one like SummerSlam, we get a show that is all video packages, with two squash matches thrown in. This show? Six matches, one of them a Divas match, and all of them relevant. I really really hope that I can continue to see this level of entertainment for the Smackdown before a pay-per-view on a regular basis in the future. Definitely high marks for WWE here.
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