Money in the Bank
1. The Return of Awesome. The Miz came back! He began maybe the best promo he's done in a while with a sly, "Miss me?" and it was beautiful. There may have been a little ring rust when it came down to the actual Money in the Bank match, but he must have had a really good acting coach during The Marine 3, because he made his initial comeback extremely entertaining, and he didn't even really say much except, "I made a movie. Now I'm back. I'm in the Money in the Bank match." Yes, after all this time, I am still a Miz mark.
2. Tag Team, Playas! The most unexpected and welcome surprise of the night actually came from a match that wasn't advertised in advance, and that was the tag team match between The Primetime Players and Los Primos Colons. Truth Boom were at ringside on commentary during this match, and they really gave a lot of attention to the fact that AW is constantly mic'd up. Surprisingly, stating the obvious just made the gimmick that much more over. The match lasted much longer than expected - 9 and a half minutes exactly - which made it feel much less like filler (unlike, say, the Divas match), and much more like it was always meant to be there. It felt like an important time for the tag division, and the parties involved in the match officially have my full attention. Rosa also seems to have taken some dancing lessons and it's not as painful to watch her swinger her hips around.
3. What the hell WAS AJ's plan?? So, I believe I was the first one in the house to suggest that AJ may call the WWE Championship match down the middle, and that is exactly what happened. The match worked really well for all the bullshit potential it had. AJ got knocked out just a few minutes into the match and had to be replaced by an actual referee, but returned with time to spare. Good move, I thought. There was way too much potential for the AJ factor to get really old really fast, and taking her out of the ring for a while kept the wrestling from getting buried under all the drama. And at the end of it all, we still weren't sure what was on AJ's mind.
4. Expected, and Yet, Unexpected. Sheamus, to nobody's surprise, went over Alberto Del Rio in a rather lackluster match that I mentioned earlier I didn't have high hopes for. Also to no one's surprise, John Cena took home the WWE Money in the Bank, although the smarks are having a hard time believing it was supposed to happen that way. After a hard-fought match from all competitors, Cena and Big Show were on top of Show's GINORMOUS LADDER OF DOOM fighting over the briefcase when, to even Cena's surprise, the handle snapped off and Cena was left just as shocked as anybody else.
Monday Night Raw
1. Pipe Bomb Dud, or, MitB Reset Promo #1: The show started with CM Punk celebrating his latest step towards breaking the top ten longest championship reigns in WWE history. But Big Show crashed the party to 1) do some griping about losing his MitB match, and 2) try to lay a pipe bomb of his own. Except that his pipe bomb amounted to, "John Cena might cash in his contract after our match tonight BOOM!" As per tradition, CM Punk was not impressed. Also, in case you missed it, this gif by our friend CWMonkey has been making its rounds on pro wrestlers' twitters this week. It seems to have been initially tweeted to Punk by a fan, and I think we can now say that Wrestling With Text is CM Punk-approved.
2. But Where Was the Worm? Heath Slater acknowledged his bad luck against the Legends over the last month or so, but he was sure that his luck was going to change... that is, until Rikishi came out. While I don't like the Stink Face as a wrestling move, I simultaneously believe that Rikishi should be the only person ever allowed to do it. Rikishi put up a great performance, ending the match with a superkick to Slater's face. Afterwards, the lights went down, and I had just enough time to correctly predict that when they came back up, his sons, The Usos, would be on either side of him to dance. Sure enough, the three of them did the old 2 Cool routine, and you just imagined Jimmy & Jey studying tapes to get the moves down just right. The only thing missing, as mentioned, was one of them doing the Worm.
3. The Proposal, Take 2. Daniel Bryan and AJ had a mixed tag match against Eve and the returning Miz, and despite Eve's fierce and relentless attacks towards AJ, that's not the story here. After Bryan and AJ won the match, Daniel Bryan admitted that he loved AJ, got down on one knee, and proposed for the second time, with a ring and everything. After about 30 seconds, and approximately 27 different facial expressions from AJ, she finally smiled and accepted, and the two left the ring, chanting "YES!" together. I'm feeling lately like we're in Act 2 of this story, and it's dragging a bit as a result of exposition, but I expect it to pick up soon, as they're getting married next week on Raw 1000!
4. Truth Hurts, or, MitB Reset Promo #2: Returning to his gimmick of not saying anything, Jericho interrupted Ziggler's celebratory promo on winning the World Heavyweight Championship MitB match, but this time, his silence wasn't because he was trolling anyone. Ziggler never let him get started before he delivered the promo of his career against the veteran. He tore into Jericho every which way he could, reminding him that he hasn't won an important match since he returned, and suggesting that maybe he's losing his touch. While Ziggler and Vickie laughed, Jericho let the words sink in and fester, and then responded with a Code Breaker. I am very, very, VERY okay with this pairing.
TNA Impact!
1. BFG Madness! I have to admit, I really like when it's time for the Bound For Glory series. I think it's a great device to mix up the roster and keep matches fresh. It's a great way to continue existing storylines, and to set up new ones. You're not seeing the same matches week after week after week, and you can really get excited and choose a guy to root for. I'm rooting for Samoa Joe, and he didn't disappoint this week when he picked up 10 points in a submission victory over The Pope. Other results this week: Robbie E tricked a 5-point count-out victory out of Jeff Hardy, Anderson pinned AJ to move up 7 points, and Daniels did the same (via ropes) to RVD. And then Bully Ray pinned Magnus.
2. Aces and WTF? Besides recaps on the conditions of Hogan and Sting, we had several new attacks from the Aces & 8s this week, who seem to have stepped up their violence levels this week. They started the show by taking out Kurt Angle before he could respond to James Storm's call-out. They took out the Gut Check contestant, Sam Shaw. And they ended the show by laying into both Austin Aries and Bobby Roode. They give no fucks, these guys. Hey does anyone else think that the increase in attacks is a little too coincidental to the return next week of...
3. Chavo Motherfucking Guerrero. It's all happened very fast: the announcement that he's signed, the promo video this week, and the announcement that he'll be on next week for the show. I'm actually pretty excited to see what they do with him, but I have my suspicions. Then again, this is TNA, and it is a little bit harder to predict than the ol' reliable 'E.
4. Wrestling Matters; That's Why Our Stories Suck. Okay, okay, not all stories in TNA suck. They've actually been doing pretty well with most of the roster. I'm not sure how I'm feeling about Aces & 8s yet, but I do know that at this point I officially hate the Daniels/Claire/AJ angle. The latest development (pun intended) is that Claire had printed out photos from her phone that she had taken of her and AJ together, in bed, where AJ is clearly unconscious. Oh my god, make it stop already. Stop adding extra layers to this already steaming pile of shit, and end the story right now. Just drop it. Don't talk about it next week, or the week after that, or EVER AGAIN. Just act like it never happened. Trust us, we won't fault you for it.
Friday Night Smackdown
1. It's Called "Character Development": AJ & Daniel Bryan were guests on Christian's "The Peep Show" this week, where Christian called their relationship into question, and afterwards informed the couple of a match that Bryan didn't realize he had tonight--against Kane. The match ended in a DQ after AJ jumped on Kane's back to keep him from getting the advantage. The long stare between Kand and AJ moments later keeps the questions boiling for the intentions of AJ, and I have a feeling that their wedding on Raw 1000 will be full of unexpected surprises.
2. More Heel Managers, Please!: Best part of the show for me this week? The backstage segment between Vickie Guerrero and Ricardo Rodriguez. Vickie was understandably upset that Del Rio had called her a "burra" (that would be "donkey" for non-Spanish speakers), and Ricardo just passed it off as jealousy. Then Vickie screamed in Ricardo's face, and he twisted up his nose and plugged up his ears to survive it. I'd be okay with them eventually forming some sort of super-stable, except for the fact that I think Ricardo's true roll as Evil Mastermind will come to the forefront soon enough.
3. What a Rush!! As a special treat on the last show before the much-hyped Raw 1000, we were served up a special dessert of Heath Slater being squashed by Road Warrior Animal. Like Rikishi, the man still has got moves, and it was quite a surprise for those thinking the Legends thing was only happening on Monday Nights.
In case you didn't know, this Monday is Raw 1000, and marks the beginning of 3-hour Raws! We'll have to see if the returns of DX and The Rock, the Wedding of Daniel Bryan and AJ, and John Cena's title match against CM Punk will be worth all the Touting.
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